


A Series of Short Songfics

by heliotropeherba



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Songfic, no actual song lyrics though just based off songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7479963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliotropeherba/pseuds/heliotropeherba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of tiny fanfictions based off songs I like. No annoying quoting of song lyrics. Obviously mostly Rycol, more ships may be added in due course. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Catastrophe Waitress- Belle and Sebastian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xHZbWxVqDjM)

I met her after I dropped out of high school. She was gorgeous and had a great sense of humour. We started dating. I didn't love her, she was easy to pretend to love. A few years later we were still together and I was slightly more successful in comedy. She was angry with me because I used to stay with Colin and Deb when we were working, Vancouver was my holiday home. Theatre sports my favourite art. I always came back to her though partly out of obligation. I felt bad for being a horrible boyfriend who pitied her. She still smiled beautifully despite the bitterness in her heart. I cherished her presence, she kept me sane when Colin wasn't around. 

I was doing standup in a bar, although I was beginning to make a splash in improv I still needed to pay the bills. She worked there as a waitress. Inevitably rowdy men were in attendance. I was cracking old jokes. One man threw a can of coke, aiming for me. He missed. She was bleeding. I carried on with my set, guilt barely crossing my mind. She ran into the bathroom with complacence. That's when I knew our marriage would be one of convenience. I proposed anyway. She cried, I'm fairly sure it was due to shock. We were married the same year as Colin & Deb. We all moved to LA shortly after. I hated it, LA was loud and provided no escape from my unloving marriage.

My career was going well. I'd thrown myself into it as I didn't want to stay at home with her disappointed stares. I'd gone to England on a few occasions for work. England was calm and idyllic. I still came back to her though, we were ringed to one another. Had some children, they were perfect. She moved up north into our new house with them both, another one being on the way. She liked being pregnant; It gave her purpose since she didn't want a job anymore. I guess she was as lonely as I was. 

I stayed in LA most of the time using work as an excuse to be around my friends instead of with the person I was meant to care about the most. I missed the kids though, and made a habit of visiting Colin to cry in his office. He figured I should go back, so I did. 

She smiled when she saw me. I had something important to tell her though. Out of the way of the kids, I told her. She stopped smiling, my heart crumbled. I don't know why I was so damn stubborn, our relationship wasn't worth it. She told the kids with tears streaming down her eyes. I handed her the house ownership contract and the divorce papers only a week later. The kids were okay with it, they paid little attention the whole matter, they don't visit us often. When I handed the papers to her she signed her name:  
Patricia McDonald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weirdly enough I wrote a whole Belle & Sebastian "musical" with Rycol and Greff, it shall never see the light of day. Currently have several more songfics to upload to this series, so updates will be soon.


	2. What do you See in Me?- The Basics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wtdfXKCFaxY)

I had stopped drinking, and started to feel more ill. I never get hangovers, now I'd stopped drinking it felt like forty overdue hangovers in one. I chugged down some pills and water. All those years ago alone in the hotel room, after having yet another horrendous nightmare about Ryan's death which, wouldn't have existed if he paid me any attention.

Cheap hotel rooms in winter are notoriously cold. I wished Ryan were there to snuggle. He wasn't. In fact I had no clue where he was, although his presence was sorely missed. At the last theatre sports league I told him, thinking my feelings were recuperated, obviously they weren't. Did he really care about me? 

I saw Ryan again that February. He made me feel greater than ever. I didn't pester him about last year. Too content to wish for more despite knowing I needed for it, much like some yearn for fame I yearned to be around him. It consumed me and made it impossible to start dating anyone who wasn't my ideal. I tucked those thoughts under my pillow choosing the happiness of the current moment. At night I wondered if he cared for me as I do him.

He came to my rundown flat that night, he told me that he liked me, and that I had been on his mind. We fell into a relationship, moving to Vancouver for good whilst taking the odd holiday to rejuvenate. It was beautiful, we knew each other so well we didn't spend time learning about one another. We began to forget our period of unrequited feelings.

Whose Line started and we jumped from Vancouver to England, I was mainly a support system for Ryan due to his hate of air travel. Later I got on the show: we had money, we were together and we were in love which was enough. I couldn't imagine staying in Vancouver while he went to London alone, we are too much like magnets for me not to follow. Without him I am merely a taxidermy.

People tend to ask why I care for him and why he cares for me. I never understood that; we fit together in our own odd way. I love him, I still wonder what he sees in me though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is also kind of sad, honestly most of them are apologies.


	3. Mornington Crescent- Belle & Sebastian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kjYDUDj5qxI)

I ended up on the subway (or tube I suppose) to Mornington Crescent. Having just got a job I was feeling a rare burst of happiness. I didn't like travelling out of the apartment usually, but I was feeling lonely so despite the soft rain found myself on a self-constructed tour of London. Colin had left yesterday and I felt slightly blue, the rain melding with my mood. It was fairly early in the morning: men headed to work in dark suits, children in school uniform loitered on the benches that stood by the concrete edges of the station. I got off the platform. Camden- an odd place where old punk posters littered walls of every cafe and bar. Soon I came to the edge of the lock, having passed through rich apartments and numerous bars. The Camden Palace looked like a riot, I wished I'd have taken him there, I regretted wasting time. Stalls were lined with clothes, often tartan, an exquisite array of fashion and culture, a range of many possibilities: I finally felt free.

The next day I came back to Mornington Crescent, the sun greeting me in the East. I had to complete my job for a client- rich arbitrator asshole. It was a simple job lick of paint, removing the old wall paper. I wore a grey sweater and ripped jeans. Missing Colin terribly, originally I had hoped my next job would be more destructive tearing down a wall or something. It wasn't, I couldn't even tear down the metaphorical wall between us, let alone the physical one. Lusting after him as I swirled the paint around the pot.

He came back a week later, he didn't tell me he was coming back. Over the week I had become miserable with worry. We worked through our issues and came to a compromise which benefitted us both, neither of us wanted to lose each other although at this point we knew it wasn't entirely wise; both of us were overly stressed and uncomfortable with our new lifestyles. We went back to the apartment, waited a twenty second pause and took off our pants. My lust manifested itself as a week of laying with him, sinful want and need. During that week we didn't bother leaving the house for groceries.

To get to the conveniently named 'London Studios' we had to pass through Mornington Crescent tube station. My jeans were still damp with paint from my job earlier; on his request I'd stopped doing as much extra work- as we'd moved to an area with lower rent. Gripped hands reassured me it would be fine and that it always was. We stood in endless lines recording take after take of a dazzling variety of standing and walking to our marks then standing some more. 

When we played games it was glorious. The small modicum of recognition I gained during that time strengthened my justification to have taken the job in the first place; even if it meant losing a significant amount of cash and led to a couple of large arguments with Colin- mostly about the move and the financial issues that came with it. He didn't mind for the most part, just worrying about my ridiculous workload. It was all minimal. 

We lined up for a game, I was the wannabe punk among improv legends. However, despite this their caring and welcoming qualities shone through- even though Tony Slattery was clearly a bit drunk. It was 'one of our best recordings of the season' according to a reassuring balding Anderson. I was damn lucky compared to Colin, whose appearances on the show were patchy at best- I felt guilty for stealing his limelight. Making the producers see his worth was another ball game entirely, he's quiet by nature so appears entirely less competent than he is- stare into his brown pools for a moment and you will see a wall of determination. I needed to convince them to see it.

After it began to air on TV we used to catch the tube home, nobody recognising me wearing my paint stained pants. Being fairly unnoticed by the public eye had it's advantages and whilst my friends saw buying a round of drinks for everyone in a local haunt as egotistic. I saw it as freedom-freedom to do whatever I wanted with little repercussion. Most of my actions benefitted Colin, the man who owned my heart. I missed our week of freedom and exploration together and attempted to emulate it constantly, surprised he didn't leave my desperate arms. Too free from obligation, I needed an anchor, he was it. I'm constantly indebted to him. As soon as we gained more cash we took the tube to the Camden Palace, it was the least I could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the mood of this one a lot I think it really reflects the song. Also it does help to listen to the songs with these. Now everytime I use Mornington Crescent tube station I think of this.


	4. I'm in Love With the City- God Help the Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z5Yrgeqs-M)

Moved back to Toronto, I guess it was partly due to nostalgia and partly due to my all-encompassing hate of LA. The best way to escape bumping into your ex after a divorce settlement is to move country. 

The city remained vibrant and majestic, gosh I loved it. I stood outside my new apartment grinning, I still missed him. Throughout the divorce settlement I'd come to the not-so startling realisation that I liked Colin a considerable amount more than a friend. I didn't tell anyone whilst all the crap was going on. I doubt they would've been surprised though; me and Col have always been fairly close, plus dating men has never been out of the question for either of us. I suppose it's just our long-term relationships with other people that prevented at least one of us from getting sentimental. With no other stable relationship to cling to- I got sentimental, fast.

At night after messing about in town with some friends, avoiding improv for some reason (maybe the emotional strain of the divorce finally got to me. Maybe I missed showing off to my kids.) I placed an old record under the needle and sang along, distracting my mind from the fact he was still with Deb. It didn't help. 

I took him for lunch once a week under the pretence that I would tell him. I never did. We avoided my divorce during conversation, I wanted him to get drunk with me so we could talk about it. He refused. I was a wreck; I shook as he spoke, almost burst into tears a couple of times. I've never dealt with hiding emotion well. He probably thought I was nervous due to the divorce, I wished I was. Our lunch arrived swiftly, I couldn't bring myself to eat I was so worked up, he finished mine- I could tell he was worried. When I left his company I wandered alone, no doubt he'd inform her of my odd mood. I'd rather spend my time in solitude then not with him.

I tried to be more loving towards him, he thought I was being needy. After we got drunk at some bar downtown I remember him stalking off to phone Deb 'He's just lonely, needs someone understanding. I'm going to take him back and then I'll be home.' I became angry when I heard his soft vowels- putting the emotionally unstable one to bed and heading home for the night, goddammit I was not here for his sympathy. I stopped attempting tenderness and started pretending to be nonchalant.  

When we met up next for lunch I told him I'd been on a date, he appeared slightly jealous although I knew he didn't want it to show.  
'Who did you go on a date with?'  
Shit. I hadn't thought it through- making up characters in improv is easy, in real life unfortunately you need proof of their existence.

'Their name was Alex' I schooled my expression, as I spat out the gender-neutral name. 

'Not seeing them again then?'

'What makes you ask?'

'Stop deflecting. You went on a date with a guy didn't you?' He looked down at his plate.

'I didn't even go on a date you idiot.' I admitted attempting to laugh it off. He blushed, I felt idiotic.

'Right,' his eyebrow rose 'I'm going to head home... I'm pretty tired.'  
At this point I decided it was now or never, he left before my burst of courage reached my mouth.

Back in my apartment, staring at walls I hadn't painted yet, I decided to take my chance even if the likelihood of it's success was small I couldn't stand sitting back in Toronto an emotional wreck with no prospect for a love life. If I told him I could move on. 

After some thought I decided to write a letter, as far as I knew Deb wasn't rude enough to open her partners mail. I wrote down my absurd feelings and closed the envelope. Guilt started to seep in at this point, Col and Deb come as a pair, I didn't want to send it for fear my pitiful attempt would break them up. They loved each other how could I come between those pure sparks of affection.

I sent it anyway; I'm still awful at controlling my emotions. His eyes, his face make me feel so damn wishy washy. He got it - and was rather surprised, he rang me right away. Toronto is full of tenderness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last pre-written fic although I have two half-written ones they're taking a while because one of them is based around college & I'm not entirely comfortable with that. The other one has a song with lots of repeating lyrics so I'm attempting to add more plot. So the next fic may take a while, sorry!


	5. True Love (For Now)- Spector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lZnYaIaxRQg)

We often kissed during Whose Line tapings. I kissed practically everyone who ever appeared on the show. By the end of a particular taping I remember everyones taste merging together, it was comforting. My heart grew a few sizes during the course of it.

Usually we entered the studio together; we used to watch the sunset: orange, purple, pink and blue combining together much like the taste of our lips had. I spent a lot of time considering how I felt about Colin, I didn't think it ran as deep as love. I was wrong. 

We were married, to women nonetheless. My heart ached to the point of destruction, Colin's did to. I was trapped in marriage for life. Honestly still not knowing if I loved him, if he told me he did I wouldn't have refused and I would've been a lot happier. He stopped responding to my phone calls. A shrill voice saying: 'NOT CURRENTLY BEING CONNECTED TO THIS NUMBER' rang in my ears.

Got drunk a lot, argued in front of the kids; only 28 and I'd given up on my marriage. Never dreamt my life would've become that much of a mess, slept in the car instead of our bed. Never wanting it to turn out this way. I needed Colin to ask what was wrong, he was too kind to bother. Then at Pat's pitiful attempt to seduce me back into her arms his name slipped out of my mouth.  
 She threw me out for good this time, more anger filled her eyes then usual- I had finally broken her heart. She headed for the phone,  
'Colin would u be kind enough to collect my hu-- Ryan's things, thank you.'  
I heard the phone click off as I stood outside the house in shock. Scattering quickly I made my way down some roads towards a hotel I didn't have any money for it on me so I gave them Pat's credit card information. I was pissed off.

I felt like I'd been lied too when they said your friends and family will always be there for you. Later I heard the phone ring, he asked me where I was and I told him to listen carefully. I didn't tell him that I missed him, if he wanted me he'd have to pay attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty short apologies! I have a list of a bunch of songs that can relate to Whose Line ships, if anyone has a request however, be sure to comment and I'll probably write it.


	6. Lady, Please- The Magic Gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vulmo2gvIKc)

Ryan was woken abruptly from a dream, it involved him finally gathering the courage to break up with Pat. They hadn't been dating long, and even though Ryan's subconscious was convinced he should leave her- Ryan himself was not. He figured he needed her, that he would be less of a man without her dazzling charm to hide behind. 

The problem with their relationship was that Ryan felt like a spare part, he felt as though Pat could live her life perfectly well without him. Ryan wasn't a big fan of the lack of control yet he found it comforting- having decisions made for him. His presence in her life was so little that she barely noticed that he wasn't really her lover. He'd found somebody else to take on dates to his favourite Italian place that they never went to anymore. His name was Colin. However, Ryan still fell asleep next to her. She always stayed awake when he was next to her, savouring every last moment they would share. 

She knew they weren't going to remain lovers for much longer.  
"please Pat, this is not who I want to be but, I've found somebody else, he's just... perfect." She smiled knowingly and let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, certainly not based on the songs original meaning. The next songfic will involve Mr. Greg Proops...


	7. The Power of Three- Belle & Sebastian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song can be found[ here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kDt-KabxRag)

I've always hated numbers- I can't stand math, only pure ambition got me through it in high school. When I met Ryan and Greg I seemed to care a bit more. Is three really a crowd? Sherlock Holmes found the sign of four, I stopped paying attention to the number after a few years being too stressed to admit I preferred a higher number than the average.My friends and I became a trio- Ryan, Greg and me. It fell together naturally when we hung around after Whose Line tapings. 

We are bit like the musketeers but without d'Artagnan. It's comfortable though slightly inconvenient due to our numerous shows all over the place. Generally I stay with Ryan when 'Whose Line' is being filmed and with Greg when we are on the west end. They're both away in fall for Whose Live, I tend to get lonely very quickly without either of them. However, the holidays soon roll around and the few days we spend together are treasure.

When the three of us are stuffed in a hotel room I've taken to reading the newspaper particularly the horoscope section, Greg hates it. I find it hilarious that both his and Ryan's "lucky number" is three- and although horoscopes are entirely made up I find reading them calms my constant paranoia. I'm scared none of us really knows what is going to happen to our relationship. I hope we stick together, I like the idea of playing Watson to their Holmes (or possibly Moriarty, if the mood takes them.) They've always remained my closet friends, I hope I get to see Ryan's green eyes every morning and hear Greg's inevitable crude remarks, it's what I've grown to love. I'm still amazed that out of an infinite realm of possibility that I would end up with two of my favourite people.

As I sit in yet another hotel room alone, with Brad down the hall, I still find signs of them in my suitcase. Searching through I spot a pair of socks I stole of Ryan a book Greg leant me. Seeing parts of them makes me smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is slightly different. I don't know when the next update will be because of college and stress.


End file.
